Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results – Albert Einstein
I needed different.
The day had been a mess. My heart was heavy with more concerns than I could carry. Even laying them at the feet of Jesus didn’t seem to lift the burden.
Jesus said, “There is so much more I want to tell you, but you can’t bear it now.” John 16:12 NLT
I have no doubt there was much more and He took the lion’s share. That is who He is, and I am grateful.
Still, neither my mind, nor heart, was not prepared for the path ahead.
I struggled with each step, greasing the squeakiest wheel, until the day was done, collapsing on my pillow.
The rooster crowed way too early, and the temptation to grab a few more minutes of sleep was strong. But an extra minute easily becomes ten, then twenty, then I’m rushing to not be late, again.
Same effort, same result.
I needed different.
Shoving my feet into running shoes, I headed out to start the morning early. Our trainer said, “Get your head right. Get to the line.” If you read that with some remnant of a coach’s voice, then you know what it means.
My head was not right, neither was my heart — not because of some unrepented sin, just prayers that felt empty, lifeless, like the strides I was taking. Yet, I continued.
I needed different.
I sat down for a quick breakfast and pulled out the chair to my right, inviting Jesus to join me. We spoke of the failure I had felt.
He said,
Prayers were answered.
Miracles unfolded.
Even the meetings you were dragged into showed signs of promise.
I was too caught up in my own pity to see. The day wasn’t a mess at all. It was a win, all around. Not mine, or mine alone, but His, that He would be glorified.
It’s what I prayed for, so why didn’t I see it?”
My heart was not right. I needed different.
Jesus said, “Follow Me.”
No sugarcoated verse on a pretty background, no theological argument or grand declaration.
Just … Follow Me.
The noise faded, falling to each side as the path became clear.
A purpose.
A goal.
To follow Him.
It may seem foolish to the world around me,
But it’s the different I need.
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