Rough edged parchment bound with string and leather, pages filled with graphite scribbles and questionable grammar, my journaling began as a creative exercise, a momentary escape from the craziness. Questions, comments, and ponderings grew into stories, some with answers others without, at least for now. Words and lyrics became more therapeutic as I longed to stay in the realm of creativity, devoid of rules and deadlines, just following the words. Thoughts floating in disorganized fashion seem to find clarity when put to paper.
Little did I realize that each word found its way to the ear of the Almighty, sparking a deeper prayer conversation. God longs to be part of our everyday and He was drawing me in. Gradually, the “wheres” and “whys” began to unravel as scriptures hidden in my memories resurfaced with new meanings. With more answers came more questions, more conversations.
Random thoughts, once merely whispers, gained a voice when etched on paper. Similarly, the same took root in my burgeoning prayer life. As the weight of various burdens held my heart, laying them at the feet of Jesus brought relief.
Being a creature of organization, I listed my prayers to remember the next time I was on my knees. Yet amid persistence in prayer, it seemed the prayer of the moment was more fervent and heartfelt. Each repetitive prayer lost its luster as days past. What about knock and it will be opened, ask and it shall be given? If we are faithful, do we need to ask again?
The burdens, like towering Jenga blocks, threatened to topple the fragile balance of my soul. With a trembling heart I cried out to God, and He answered, “I know, I’ve heard you, I’ll take care of this. There is nothing I cannot do.” With His words as my anchor, I could breathe.
However, as time passed, burdens drove me to my knees asking the Lord once more. His unwavering reminder? “I’ve got this.” I instead thanked Him for the miracles He has in store. Again, I could breathe.
And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. Matthew 6:7-8